It's about time for an update.

I put off writing for so long because I feel like I have nothing interesting to add or don't want to take the time to add pictures but even ordinary life should be recorded somewhere.

Our days are very much the same.  Holland attends Pre-K, which he loves.  He comes home at lunchtime and sometimes takes a nap or else he occupies himself with toys or TV.  He is full of energy and climbs and jumps on everything.  He is absorbing information like a sponge and getting quite smart.  He is really hilarious and most people enjoy having conversations with him.  He is a good friend.  He is really turning into a capable, kind, big boy.

It is especially helpful having Holland in school in the mornings because the girls are able to get a majority of their schoolwork done while he is away.  He can be very distracting.  The girls are doing so much better with homeschool this year.  It is night and day, thank goodness.  They still whine or get distracted but most of the time they know what is expected, how to read their lesson plan, and are self motivated. 

Merilee is a perfectionist/overachiever.  She is so much like me.  And sometimes I wish she would chill out and lighten up (like me).  She just finished up with division and is moving on to geometry.  She reads very well and whether she will admit it or not, she enjoys reading.  She is a talented writer and is creative in all things.

Cara has come so far in reading and math.  She learns and does work at her own pace and I have come to accept that and not fight it so much.  She is able to read chapter books on her own and catches on to every concept in math quickly.  I see math being her favorite subject.

They have both enjoyed doing science and social studies together.  They are both doing the 4th grade lessons so I only have to prepare one lesson for them both.  They have done some big projects and are really proud of them.  Science is MY least favorite subject to teach.

Ezra is such a laid back guy.  He sleeps most of his life and is very easy to put to bed for naps and at night.  He is a good eater and has plenty of chub to show for it.  He loves to play outside.  He uses anything as a phone but he can't say much yet.  I have kept him in long reddish blonde locks and love that he has crazy hair days.  He is a little  awkward in his gross motor skills and trips and falls but he is developing in all other areas nicely.  He has a good sense of humor and LOVES it when his siblings play with him.

We are about to overhaul bedrooms and shuffle people and furniture around to make room for our new baby.  Yes, we are expecting baby #5 mid May and it will be a boy.  So we are moving Ezra into Holland's room and giving them the girls bunk bed/dresser set.  The girls are getting brand new bunk beds and they will each have a dresser.  We are also investing in a recliner for the living room and a new mattress for Justin and I.  I am excited for the delivery of all this furniture and have a lot of painting and prep to do before it comes next week.  The baby of course will have his own room.  Maybe that's not fair but it makes my life easier.  None of my babies have shared rooms.

So, now the announcement has been made official through blogland.  I am really excited about the baby.  He will be our last one and I have mixed feelings about that.  I am feeling good and the pregnancy is going perfectly, which I am grateful for.  I am not super uncomfortable yet.  But the idea of this being the last time for all of this is sad.  There are articles out there that talk about coping with not having more babies and being happy moving forward.  I am excited to now watch the kids grow up, losing the weight and getting fit, and I don't think I will ever miss breastfeeding!  Babies bring so many blessings but finances and thinking about the future of putting them through college or on missions, driving, or going on vacation or anywhere, we've reached a limit.

Anyway....I am still a counselor in Relief Society and Justin in Young Mens.  Life is good.  Routine is good.  Decorating is good.  We are healthy and happy.  

Two Week Menu

All recipes were taken from www.recipeshoebox.blogspot.com  It is my all time favorite go-to blog for our family meals.  She feeds a crowd and so do I.

Spaghetti
Chili dinner at church
Chicken enchilladas
Potato soup and homemade bread
Pizza-Halloween
Baked chicken and bean taquitos, green beans, fruit
Beef roast in crockpot-use leftover meat and gravy next week

Chicken cressant makeovers with chicken noodle soup
Creamy lemon pepper chicken and pasta, steamed broccoli
Potato kielbasa skillet
Shepherd pie with crock pot leftovers
Taco Soup-Feed missionaries
Spinach artichoke calzones
Orange chicken with rice

Homeschool Continued and children update

I think I am crazy.  We have chosen to homeschool for the second year.  There are so many conflicting reasons to and not to homeschool.  I am happy with the decision to continue for now.  I know that I will never get these years back when my kids are little and need me for everything, including to show them and teach them about the world they live in.  I am "sheltering" them from the ugliness of the world for as long as I can and get to show them the beauties that I choose to. 

Other things have fallen into place to allow this year to be more successful.  We have a bigger house.  I have places to put children and their things and separate them if needed.  I have put Holland in a preschool that we both LOVE and he is excited to go everyday.  It is only 3 hours in the morning but it has been the best thing I have done to relieve stress and let him be active.  Ezra is a great napper.  He sleeps the majority of the morning and is easy going the rest of the time.  Sure it gets crazy and loud but I see my kids playing together and know that they will look back on their time together at home and have fond memories. 

Merilee is excelling.  She is so naturally smart and motivated.  She wants to get her work done quickly and do well at it.  She says she hates math but it is becoming her best subject.  She is an awesome reader and doesn't need assistance.  She is so creative in writing and drawing.  She can look at a picture and do a very good job drawing it.  She is still the biggest help with chores and mothering the little ones.  She is social but struggles because she doesn't have many friends at church.  We are lacking in girls her age in our ward.  I love her so much and see her turning into a young lady before my eyes.  I hope I can guide her into her teen years and embed in her how necessary it is that she makes good moral decisions everyday.  I want us to be best friends which is why I want our relationship to be strong right now.

Cara is also smart but works at her own pace.  She does things slowly.  She talks slowly, reads slowly, writes slowly, and struggles to stay on task.  She CAN do it, but it requires a lot more patience from me.  I think she is this way because she is so sweet and tender that it is in her nature to be slow and meaningful in what she does.  She is still in speech therapy at our charter school.  She is also social but has a shy side.  She would rather play barbies or ponies then watch T.V.  She is a cuddly thing and craves that physical contact for affection.  She still acts like a little girl and sometimes has a hard time getting along with Merilee who is acting more grown up (even though she is still little).  However they are best friends and do everything together.

Holland has come such a long way.  He is such a sweet stinker.  I could just look at his sweet face all day.  He is full of expression and energy.  He jumps off and climbs everything.  He is an adventurer, super hero, pirate, prince charming, and puppy dog.  And sometimes he is all of those things at once!  He speaks his mind and is not shy.  He is very intelligent and observant.  He loves to help Daddy around the house and outside.  I have struggled to appreciate his qualities but he is destined to be a great man.  I can see him more clearly now and want to keep him my little boy forever.

Ezra is such a special guy.  He is laid back and easy going.  He loves to sleep and eat.  He has become quite the chunky boy.  He waddles around and makes us all laugh.  He doesn't talk yet.  He says, "Mom", and "uh oh".  He seems to do well around other children and babies.  His sisters dote on him all day long.  He loves the water in the bathtub and pool.  He is not an adventurer so when he wanders, he checks to make sure I am nearby.  He is a good traveler and shopping companion.  He also loves watching shows with lots of singing and dancing.  He loves on his stuffed animals and is not too messy.  He is a joy to have around.  His hair is long and carefree.  It is starting to get in his eyes and it will be a very sad day when I have to cut it.  It suits him....

So, with tears of love in my eyes I am so grateful to have them all home with me.  Who cares if they aren't learning the same thing or in the same way as their peers.  They will learn what they need to.

Homeschool

 

I have been meaning to post my feelings about our family's homeschool experience.  We chose to homeschool because of the radically different environment in our town's public school.  It was quite a shock to have 30+ students per class with no help for the teachers.  Children that were sent to school completely unprepared to learn or obey.  Parents on the school grounds wearing immodest and vulgar clothing and speaking in the rudest way possible.  Many could not even communicate without becoming aggressive and swearing.

 

So, Merilee started begging to be homeschooled.  She would cry as I put her to bed on Sunday night because she didn't want to go to school the next day.  She came home chanting racist songs she learned on the bus (not realizing it was racist of course), telling me about different students that got in trouble that day.  One in particular would be sent to the office but would refused to go, so she stayed outside their classroom door banging on the door and floor, throwing a fit.  She was expelled but kept coming to school and the school couldn't do much about it.  Parents are arrested for truancy but released because there is no where to keep them and no one else to take care of the kids.  I could go on and on but the point is, we needed to at least TRY something different for our kids.

 

A few families at church homeschooled and some of them used a charter school in a nearby town.  I use the word 'nearby' loosely.  Nothing here in the desert is 'nearby'.  I checked it out and it seemed pretty doable.  They had curriculum lined out and provided all the materials.  They even had fun enrichment classes offered on Fridays.  I signed them up and even got Cara started in their speech program.  I got the house as organized as I could, we set up some goals, and began.  Well.....Ezra was almost 3 months old and still very needy, Holland was 3 and still very naughty and high maintenance.  I had more on my plate than I could handle most days.

So our days were supposed to start with scriptures, prayer, pledge, and then miraculously the days work would get done. HA!!  It was a struggle to get started.  As soon as we started there was interruption from one/both boys.  Cara was 100% dependent on me for instruction and direction.  Merilee was left to figure things out on her own.  If she had a question she had to skip it and wait on me to find a minute to help her.  Our day was miserable.  Ezra only napped for 20 minutes and Holland was bouncing out of control all over the house.  The girls argued and whined at me ALL.THE.TIME.  And housework was thrown out the window.  By the time Justin got home from work, I was angry.  I was starting to hate my life and responsibilities. 

I have learned a few things about myself.  I am NOT patient.  I miss hearing the teachers praise my children for their intelligence and hard work.  I like to have them tested and evaluated to compare their progress to other children.  I like to have them at the top of the class.  Homeschool did not give me those things.  How was I supposed to know if I was keeping them up with the other kids in public school.  Was I holding them back?

At Christmastime we took a much needed break.  I reevaluated how we were doing things.  What did I think was important for them to learn?  How could I make this more pleasant for ALL of us?  How could I get Ezra and Holland on a more manageable routine?  How could I RELAX?  I needed to find those little moments of joy in my day and enjoy my journey.  (I'm emotional and teary just typing this).

SO, I had to lighten our load and give myself a break.  I cut back on the amount of work the girls did.  For reading, if it wasn't spelling or grammar, they didn't do it.  I added in some spelling work.  I let Merilee start reading all the American girl books we could get our hands on.  Cara made HUGE progress with her reading ability and pace.  I was not pulling my hair out listening to her read.  This was a tender mercy.  She grasped reading at a vital time in my sanity;)  She is catching onto math quickly and I can give her work and she can do it without me next to her all the time.  This allows me to get some housework done.  I had to just accept that some thing just weren't going to get done some days.  My house is not picked up all the time and the dishes are done once a day.  Laundry sits in baskets or folded piles.  The girls have started emptying the dishwasher and folding clothes.  They are huge helps with Ezra.  Ezra started napping more in his crib.  Holland got a TV in his room.  (don't judge). 

However, even after all the changes to make homeschool work, it still feels like more of a burden than a joy.  I have decided with agreement from the girls that they will begin public school again in the Fall on a trial period.  In the mean time, I will be researching curriculum, educating myself, and feeling out where schooling is headed in this country.  If at winter break we feel like I can take on homeschool again, I will.

 I love them so much and don't want to hate my time with them.  It was a totally different kind of parenthood with lesson plans.  I don't want them to hate learning or feel unsafe or uncomfortable because of the naughtiness going on around them.  I want them to be KIDS and use their imagination.  I want them to respect me as their mother, teacher, counselor, and fellow daughter of God.  I want them to reach their potential which is limitless and have joy in their journey.

More catch up....although we like mustard in our house.

 We drove down to Hollywood for the evening and stayed the night so the next day Justin could do a session at the LA Temple.  It is much more lively at night. 

 

 Ezra enjoyed himself. 

 After Justin's temple session we headed to the beach.  It was so frustrating to find which beach to go to.  I didn't want it too busy, but I wanted a bathroom and shower station because I knew no one wanted to drive home all salty and sticky.  So after too long of a drive we went to two different beaches.  The first was almost to Malibu but was a state beach/wetland.  We will never go there again.  We stayed long enough to set up the tent, nurse Ezra, take down the tent, and leave.  The seagulls were everywhere and it was too rocky for the kids to have fun.

 So then we headed south and stopped at Will Rogers State Beach and it was much nicer.  The water was too cold for Ezra and I so we just walked along and kicked at the water.  Ezra was hysterical every time I tried putting his feet in the water.  He did make some footprints in the sand though.

 This was just a cute picture of Ezra and Holland watching the mobile in the crib.

 Ezra after his 2 month shots.  He should have had 5 shots but they ran out of one.  Poor guy!  These made big knots in his legs and he was so sore.  I don't remember the other kids being that sore before.  It was difficult to hold him without him crying out in pain.

 Maybe this was payback;)  It was such a blowout, that I had to document it.  My shirt is stained and I had to carefully bleach some of Ezra's outfit.  And to think that now Ezra only poops once every few days....

 These are our first day of school pictures.  The girls are homeschooled this year and the real first day, we woke up without power.  It got hot and we got cranky.  We did do some work in the dark and then gave up and went to a friends' house to pass the time quicker.  Cara is in 1st grade and Merilee is in 3rd grade.  I will have to do a separate post on our new homeschooling life.

 Merilee's lips/mouth get SO chapped all.the.time and she has to constantly keep them gooped up with chapstick.  So, she is shiny and swollen in the picture.

 We had a party for Cara while the family was visiting during Ezra's blessing.  She had a luau/swimming party.

 And then we went to Disneyland a couple months later  The kids are waving to the princesses during the Mickey Soundsational Parade.

 I got Ezra his own embroidered Mickey ears hat but didn't get a picture.  We were with Cara in the bathroom and holding her hat for her so I put it on Ezra and got a couple cute pictures.

 I just thought this was a cute one of Holland.  He kept stealing Uncle Jakob's hat and sunglasses.

 Now we are up to Halloween.  I made Cara a Pocahontas costume, Merilee was Rapunzel from Tangled, and Holland was Jake from Jake and the Neverland Pirates.

Not such great pictures but the kids took them for me because I was rushing around like always. 

Lots of Stuff Happening

I have come to realize again how valuable having a blog with pictures is for our family.  We returned home from trick or treating and found our house had been broken into and our laptop was stolen.  We had all of our pictures and important documents on that computer and now it is all gone.  We bought a memory card to save the pictures on but never got around to doing it.  Lesson learned.  So thanks to this blog, I have a record of some of the important milestones in our family.  But that is all.  No baptism pictures for Merilee, videos of the kids as babies, lost teeth, Christmas and Birthdays, friends and family, etc. So, I am going to try again to take some of my "sleep" time to update this blog a little bit more often.  The nice thing is that all the pictures from Ezra's baby shower until now were still on my camera so Ezra's "history" was not lost.

We have been in California a year now and still have bouts of homesickness for Oklahoma.  We have been busier than ever before and the year has gone by so fast.  Some of our activities that I will detail later include:

Homeschooling.  By far the most challenging thing I have done as a mother so far!
Church callings.  I am over the activities portion in the Relief Society presidency.
New Baby.  Ezra is now almost 6 months old and still hitting all those milestones.  Right now it is teething and trying to get him to eat food.
So. Many. Meetings/Appointments!! For church, school, family, etc.
Job Changes.  Justin started a new job for CA dept. of corrections and has been going through an academy with crazy schedules.

It may not seem like a lot but our days are busting at the seems with things that we have to do.  Most days I am very overwhelmed and grumpy but I do see many blessings from my efforts.  I have so much to improve on and learn but it is a painful process.  Anyway, here are a few pictures.

 Aunt Morgan is home from her mission and we had a luau party for Cara's birthday.

 Ezra's blessing day and all the family that could come.

 Ezra with Babushka and Grandad

 The girls like to play dress up with Ezra and here they took his clothes off and dressed him in their baby doll clothes.

 Holland looks a lot like my dad as a boy in this picture while wearing Merilee's glasses.

 Our family at Disneyland.  It was the end of the day and not everyone was happy.

 Happy Disney baby.  Sporting his Mickey Mouse onsie he wore to Disneyland.

 Aunt Sara and Uncle Jakob visiting.

 Another one of those times the girls dressed Ezra up as a pirate.

 Holland pretending to be a baby in Ezra's jumper.

 Turkey outfit Grandma made for Ezra's first Thanksgiving

Our family in Union Station after a train ride to LA.  We also visited Little Mexico and Little Tokoyo

Summer Storytime

We have an absolutely wonderful storytime lady.  She happens to go to our church and my kids adore her kids.  This storytime was a birthday party and after the books were read we decorated cupcakes.

 Holland is by his "buddy" Silas and these two are best buddies.  Holland talks about him all the time.  He even yells "Silas!!" while Silas passes the sacrament on Sunday.  Such good kids.

Merilee and her friends Millie (in red) and Heidi (in blue).  We have been going to the summer reading program's activities as well.  They have had storytellers, animals, magic shows, and learning about how to eat healthy and stay active.